How many of you have heard about, what’s called a “Doppelganger?” It has often been described as someone’s double, look-alike, or physical and behavioral twin. Though identical in looks, they have no genetic relationship with you. Folklore has said, that everyone has their own doppelganger, and they can be either an evil alter ego, or perhaps, even a ghostly apparition. Legend has it, that if you ever see your doppelganger, it’s usually a harbinger of either bad luck, or an omen of impending death. I don’t know what’s scarier; the fact that my evil double is somewhere out there, roaming the earth, and causing untold mischief, the idea, that I could possibly have any more bad luck than I do now, or the thought that another Patrick Dykie is on the loose.
I’m not the only one, who’s somewhat disturbed by the idea of a Patrick Dykie doppelganger. A few weeks ago, my wife awoke from a horrific nightmare, with a piercing shriek. Covered in sweat, and tangled in the covers, she looked at me, and said, “Thank God, it was only a terrible, terrible dream.” I asked her what it was about. She replied in a shaking voice, “I dreamt, I came home from work, and there were two of you. What made it worse, is that the house was a mess, dishes were piled in the sink, the laundry wasn’t folded, the grass wasn’t cut, and you were both in front of separate computers, feverishly typing.” She paused for a moment, and took a deep breath. She then, in a low, barely audible voice, which was almost a whisper, said, “Both of you were writing and posting simple observations of everyday life. I was never so scared in my life.” All I could do was hold her close, tell her I loved her, and everything would be all right. I also smiled to myself, as I thought, “Wow – two posts at once.”
The reason I bring up the idea of a doppelganger, is that a few days ago, a complete stranger approached me at the supermarket. He reached out his hand to shake mine, and said, “Bill……Bill Perisiki. How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in at least five years. You look great. Did you ever get that humorous book you were working on, published? When I told him my name was Patrick, and not Bill, he didn’t believe me. He thought I was messing with him. It took almost five minutes, a lot of back and forth arguing, and finally a look at my driver’s license, social security card, and voter’s registration, to finally convince him, I wasn’t his long-lost friend, Bill Perisiki. He said he couldn’t believe the uncanny similarity. Everything, including my height, weight, hair color and style, mannerisms, and even the way I walked, were virtually identical to what could only be a Patrick Dykie doppelganger. According to him; me and Bill could be identical twins.
After my encounter in the grocery store, I thought about trying to track down this Bill Perisiki, to see if he really was my doppelganger. I even went on a website called, “twinstrangers.net.” On this site, you upload a photo of yourself, select your basic facial features from provided sheets, and activate facial recognition software, from a data base comprised of photos from over a million-different people. The site will then provide you with possible matches of people that look like you. The bad news is, there’s no one on the site that looks like me. The good news is, a little over one million people are extremely happy, and thanking their lucky stars that they have absolutely no resemblance to me. I guess I should be happy that my initial efforts to find my doppelganger have failed. To be honest, I’m not sure if I want a face to face reminder of what I look like. I have my trusty bathroom mirror – and that’s scary enough.
As always happens when I write my simple observations of everyday life; the idea of a Patrick Dykie doppelganger has brought up many unanswered questions, a few observations, and a number of disturbing thoughts. I was thinking about finding my doppelganger, and bringing him home for dinner to mess with my wife. She’s always saying, how I drive her nuts. Imagine two of me! The only problem is, there might be unforeseen consequences. What if she thinks he’s better looking. Worse yet; what if she runs into him somewhere, thinks it’s me, participates in a romantic interlude with him, comes home, and says, “Honey, how in the world did you beat me home? Oh, by the way. This afternoon was amazing. I never knew you could be so romantic, and it was the best love-making we’ve ever had.” It kind of puts a little pressure on me the next time, doesn’t it?
Do you think my doppelganger is limited to Caucasians of European descent, or is it possible that his similarity to me, might cross cultural, racial, or ethnic divides? Is it possible that somewhere in the Guangdong Province of China, there’s a subsistence farmer who is my doppelganger? Could he be an Asian duplicate of Patrick Dykie? If there is a far Eastern look-alike, does he fit in to Chinese culture? Do other farmers make fun of him, due to his freakish appearance, large size, and, love of fried chicken with mashed potatoes? Has he been recruited by government officials for the Chinese national basketball team?
I shudder to think of this horrific possibility, but somewhere in the vast reaches of this world; do you think it’s possible, there’s a female doppelganger of me? What if she’s a “lady of the evening?” What if I run into her, and she looks exactly like me, except for makeup, a long silky mane of hair, sexy, revealing attire, and a quite attractive hour-glass figure? Excuse me a moment…………….. Sorry, that image just shook me up for a few seconds. What if for some crazy reason, I found her to be unbelievably hot? What if for an even crazier reason, she thinks I’m the handsomest man in the world, and falls instantly in love with me? What if I fell in love with her? I better finish up this simple observation, before I drive myself insane. Besides, I adore my wife, would never leave her, and can’t imagine saying to her, “Sorry honey, but I’m leaving you for – myself!”