For the purpose of full disclosure, and in the presence of my fellow bloggers; I am stating for the record, that in a little over a week, I will be celebrating twenty-three years of wedded bliss, to the most wonderful woman in the world. I also, hereby swear, that I will not now, or at any time in the future, procure the services of any business dealing with online dating. “Honey, I said it. Can I take my hand off the Bible, now?
I was watching TV last night, and it seems like every week there’s a new dating service being advertised. Some sites claim they base finding a partner for you, on specific compatibility matrixes, while others help you find your soul mate through lengthy personality testing or behavioral matchmaking systems. I remember when things were so much simpler. You found that special someone in one of two ways. The first was, you asked someone out for coffee, you went on a date, and subsequently a few more, before you met their parents. You then dated some more, proposed, got married, and lived happily ever after. At least, that was how it went for me. The second way involved going to a bar or nightclub, having a few drinks, and hooking up in a dark, hot, smoke-filled room, with music so loud you both needed sign language skills just to say hello? Those were your only two choices.
I noticed something else, while watching the commercials for such sites such as eHarmony and Match.com. Where are all the facially challenged, husky, big-boned, and slightly imperfect people, who look like me, and may be looking for that special someone? Every couple I saw was either beautiful or handsome, extremely fit, had a full head of magnificent hair, and perfect teeth. I don’t think the dating sites commercial’s, truly represent the typical single person. Heck, I was at Walmart yesterday, and people were lucky to have all their teeth, let along thirty-two pearly whites! I guess, I should be glad I’m happily married. I think, if I had to depend on internet dating services to find someone to share my life with, I might just end up with one long, lonely existence.
Here’s something to think about. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but almost all the couples shown, as successful matches on dating sites – look like each other. To be honest; it kind of freaks me out. I once read an interesting study, in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. It said that human beings love themselves, and will search for a mate who looks like either them or their parents. I think dating services are using complicated facial recognition technology to match people with someone who looks just like them! I don’t know what scares me more; the fact that modern technology is determining who people spend the rest of their lives with, or that somewhere, there’s a Patrick Dykie Doppelganger of the opposite sex. Walking the streets in a nearby city could be my identical twin; possibly attired, in a stunning, but elegant ensemble of a silk halter top, a revealing leather mini-skirt, flesh-tone nylons, and ruby red, and quite fetching high heels.
Do you know there are dating sites for particular ethnicities, and religious beliefs? I saw one called, Blackpeoplemeet.com for African American’s, and another for Jewish singles called, Jdate.com. Both sites had extremely beautiful, intelligent, sexy women on them looking for that special someone. I was wondering about something. I’m so pale, I glow in the dark, and I’m Catholic. Would it be a deal breaker, if someone like me, signed up on one of these sites?
Have you heard about a dating site called Christian Mingle? It even has a motto which says, “Find God’s match for you.” I think it’s a great idea for people who have certain beliefs, and want to meet like-minded individuals with similar interests, values and ideals, for a long-lasting relationship. I know the dating site has good intentions. I’m also sure they’ve helped a lot of good and decent people find love in a large, often cruel, and sometimes lonely world. On the surface it sounds pretty good; but does anyone, including a dating site, really know what God’s thinking? Do any of the Christian people who come to this site, say to themselves, “Wow, this is great. God herself, is going to help me find that special someone.” Well, what if God does decide to intervene, is having a bad day, or worse yet, she’s read my simple observations of everyday life blog. What if she figures, I have a good sense of humor, and then decides my perfect match is a nice, fun-loving, ninety-two-year-old woman named Edna, who enjoys pulling her teeth out at bingo night at the retirement home, to liven things up.
I even saw a dating service called, “Cougar Life.” On the site in big, bold letters it says, “Date a cougar, on the largest cougar dating site.” I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty scary to me. I guess my mom was right. There are a lot of online predators out there. I did some research, and learned that in the world of modern dating, a cougar is an older, intelligent, successful woman, with abundant energy, who is looking for someone with the vitality of youth, to satisfy her psychological as well as physical needs.
I guess, I don’t have to worry about any cougars hitting on me. In my case, she’d have to be at least eighty, and even then, I probably couldn’t keep up with her. I have just one warning, for all you single young men who might be intrigued by the idea of a lovely, strong, older woman with a lot to offer as a long-term companion. Make sure you get the right kind of cougar. Years ago, during my wild days as a young man, I happened to be at a bar in the Canadian Rockies. The sign out front had said “Cougar Night,” and I figured it would be a good time. I’m not too sure about a good time, but I can tell you this – I got tore up pretty good!
I think I’ll start my own internet dating site. I won’t need it myself, but I think my personal experiences, unique perspectives on life, and my own successful search for a life partner, may be of help to others. It will also be, a more realistic way for average people to meet, and find love. I’ll call it, “Alittlemesseduplookingbuthasagoodheart.com”