Smarter Than Me Phones

 

Image result for smart phones

I got up early this morning, tried to figure out my wife’s new smart phone, and realized something. I just moved one step down on the intelligence scale at the Dykie household. My wife is a nurse practitioner, my youngest son, just applied to medical school, and my eldest is highly successful in the business world – so, we obviously know, I’m far below them when it comes to measuring brain capacity. The rest of us: me, my two cats, Molly and Harper, and my dog, Chase, are stacked at the bottom, just above the fish in my pond. I’ve already accepted the fact that my cats are smarter than me. Chase and I are close, but I did get a formal education. To be fair, he used my Pay Pal account to purchase the amazing Rosetta Stone learning system, and has been studying a lot lately. Now, our delicately balanced system is in disarray with the addition of the latest in a technologically advanced, mobile computer and communication system.

Almost everyone has smart phones these days; especially teenagers, and young adults. I have a question. Are kids getting smarter these days, or am I getting dumber? No, don’t answer that – we both know the answer. It’s almost crazy if you think about the fact, that a thin device that fits in the palm of your hand can: send and receive voice or video calls, create and receive text messages, provide personal digital assistants, help you navigate via GPS, allow you to play video games, contains a digital and video camera, provides internet access, and can store thousands of Apps. To be honest – I’m lucky if I can reset the clock on my microwave!

I have something else, I’ve been wondering about. Many kids these days have no concept of time, money, and personal responsibility. They often, due to raging hormones, appear to lack any common sense. Heck, some of them can’t make their own bed, and would likely starve, if the refrigerator wasn’t full, or the microwave broke down. But, if you hand them a smart phone; within twenty seconds, they’re converting euros into dollars, sending and receiving texts and pictures, translating English into 164 different languages, effortlessly navigating through mid-town Manhattan during rush hour, and instantaneously communicating with a Mongolian yak farmer, half way around the world.

My wife, is absolutely amazing when it comes to the use of a smart phone. When I was in high school, I took a typing class. To this day, I struggle to bang out 18 words a minute, using two hands, ten fingers, and even my nose, if needed. My wife, on the other hand, can text up to seventy or eighty words a minute – with one finger! How about this amazing fact involving my wife and her smart phone? She can take a highly embarrassing picture of me doing something stupid, or in a compromising position, post it to her Facebook page, and guess what? Within 38 seconds, she’s already receiving likes, and replies from friends who say they laughed so hard, they peed their pants. Within five minutes, Vladimir Putin is in such a good mood after viewing my picture, he decides to stop building nuclear weapons, and orders the withdraw of all troops from Syria. Even the Palestinians and Israelis are discussing Mideast peace, as they share hilarious pictures of me, via smart phones. At least one good thing has come from all of this. I may not be very smart, but I might just be the engine for world peace and universal harmony.

Before I go; I should tell you that I may have slipped, just a little bit further down the intelligence ladder. I was just out at my fish pond. It seems the goldfish are building a hydroelectric plant. They say, their ultimate goal is to generate enough electricity to begin the manufacture of smart phones here in America.

“Okay, Chase. I guess it’s just you a me, boy. How about we play a game of chess?”

“Woof, woof, woof, woooooof.”

“Okay, okay. I know you’ve beaten me thirty-seven straight times – but you have to admit I’m getting better.”

About Patrick Dykie

I'm a simple, middle class family man, living a quiet life in eastern Pennsylvania. As you can see from my picture, I just became a first-time grandfather. I love to write and make people laugh. I'm trying to be a full-time writer. I've faced some things over the past few years, including health problems that have slowed me down in my dreams, but I'm back, and writing again. Over the past few years, I've written a number of books, but none have been published. That's about to change. I will be self-publishing "Simple Observations," through iuniverse in the next few months. I'll keep you updated on its status. Thank you for coming to my site. I hope you enjoy the visit.
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12 Responses to Smarter Than Me Phones

  1. weggieboy says:

    I got my first smart phone after I bought a car with an infotainment center that allows me to turn it into a huge, mobile telephone. Curiously enough, I figured out how to answer the phone on my car before I figured out (by accident) how to swipe the stupid smart phone to answer it. For the first few days, any time I got a call, I had to run out to my car to answer it. I did not feel clever!

    Amazing in these days when a simple electronic gizmo typically comes with a 400 page instruction manual in at least five languages, my smart phone came with – NO INSTRUCTIONS! WAH! I found an unofficial instruction manual put out by the Geek Squad on the Internet, and printed that out. So simple when you read about it!

    These days, my smart phone has replaced my point-and-shoot camera as my sole camera. Oh yes, sometimes I even use it as a phone!

    Like

    • I’m glad you mastered your smart phone. Even with instructions, I’m still not there. My wife takes beautiful pictures with hers, and then sends them to Facebook. Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it.

      Like

  2. Sheila Moss says:

    Not only am I not smarter than my smart phone, I’m not even smart enough to know all the smart things it can do.

    Like

    • Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Welcome to the club. I’m just satisfied with talking to people, getting messages and voice mails, and maybe a little texting. I f I need anything else, I have my wife or son do it. Thanks again, and take care.

      Like

  3. Loved this post! I watch my granddaughters move their little fingers over the tablets and phones keyboards so fast it’s difficult to follow what the heck they’re doing. At times I feel as if the world has passed me by, but then I still know how to hold a conversation – not sure the kids these days know what a face to face conversation sounds like. I’m glad you found my little corner of the world. Welcome to the fence jumpers and thanks for following my blog. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a petty smart writer.

    Like

  5. colonialist says:

    Maybe the invention of the century could be a smart phone that pretends to be dumber than the owner? Or, at least, has a menu with some sort of logic to it.

    Like

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